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When life happens

My neighbor has this adorable daughter that’s delightful in so many ways. I am fond of this kid because I’ve seen her from the time she was crawling and talking in gibberish to the present when she can run as first as her little puppy and her vocabulary has grown considerably (the first time she called me ‘uncle’ I was tempted to steal her). So you can imagine how shocked I was last week when I heard her yelling, “puuuush, puuush”.  Mind you this is a kid who has not even started baby class. Her midwifery skills are already better than her alphabet.

I like this child though. She represents all that is good. In her I see a lot of potential. She is like a bonfire that has just been ignited. A bonfire whose flames will burn fiercely and incessantly. This little girl is like a ship that is departing from the dock for the vast, infinite waters of the ocean. The world is hers to explore. At her tender age she still has a lot of zest and enthusiasm.

Just like this little girl, while we were toddlers we ate life with a big spoon. We did not feel the need to pretend. We cried our eyes out when things were not right and we laughed our hearts out without a care in the world whenever we were happy. But even when we cried, we would let things go as soon as our tears ran dry. We would let things slide and keep our eyes on the prize (which was mostly boobs). We never hang on to unpleasant experiences. We kept no grudges.  We did not walk with downcast eyes. We did not keep hatred in our hearts. We were not ashamed of who we were. We never felt the need to please people. We were not judgmental. We were not spiteful. We did not feel the need to follow the crowd. We were always eager to learn and we had so much potential.

What happened to all that gusto?

It’s unfortunate how we let experiences shape us. We let our set- backs suck all that succulence from our lives leaving us frail and worn out. It is unfortunate how we let people define who we are or who we ought to be. It’s unfortunate how we let hatred and pain consume us. It is unfortunate how we let the world corrupt and damage us. It is unfortunate how we pursue the wrong things in pursuit of happiness. It’s unfortunate how we endeavor to please others at the cost of our own happiness. It’s unfortunate how much we complicate our lives.

No one can claim to be an expert on living. There’s no handbook on how to live this life. We are all a work in progress. But that is not to say that life cannot be simplified. It is in this regard that I share my two cents on making life manageable:

1)      Your happiness should always come first. Stop trying to fix everyone and everything. This is not to say that you should never go out of your way for the sake of someone else. But the truth is, some people are just damaged. And very few among us have the patience that Jesus had (or Mother Teresa for that matter).

2)      Do not hang around bitter, unhappy people. These people are always full of skepticism. Nothing is ever good enough or doable from their point of view. If you have a friend that’s always complaining and speaking negative of everyone and everything, it’s about time you ditch him/her or else that negativity will rub off on you.

3)      Do not keep grudges. I long realized that more often than not, people will disappoint you. We live among humans, not angels. You will disappoint people and you will be disappointed. Learn to forgive and move on. Hate is consuming. You don’t want to look like President Ubaks (or God forbid, his wife) by the time you are in your forties.

4)      Have the courage to tell someone off. If someone is constantly crossing the line and you can’t take their crap anymore, feel free to tell him/her to piss off. Do not let anyone take away your happiness. You do not owe anyone anything. Unless you are a Siamese twin, you came into this world alone. That is not to say that you should be petty

5)      Know yourself well. Life is so much easier when you know your weaknesses and strengths. You will save yourself a lot of time and you are more likely to hit the jackpot. Just imagine if David ‘Fiatu Fyangu’ Rudisha had tried to be a news anchor.

6)      Know whom to trust. Do not get attached too easily. Don’t go opening your heart to everyone you meet. Guard your heart. It harbors your life.

7)      Learn to live with people. No man is an island. No man stands alone. As much as you may possess the ability, people will get you where you want to be.

8)      If it will not add any value, don’t say it. Well of course unless it’s funny.

9)      Respect others. Do not look down on people. Just because you are up there does not mean you cannot fall. Sometimes the person that lends you a hand in a time of need is the one that you least expect.

10)   Take risks. Like they say YOLO. You can’t live in fear all your life. If you think something will make you happy, as long as it’s not harmful go for it. This is no license to be stupid though. Don’t go doing silly stunts.

11)   You do not have to be like everyone else. You don’t have to do it because everyone else is doing it (I know Nyambura will like this one). In that regard, if you are reading this and you have that dreadful Mohwak on your head (because you saw it on Sean Paul), please visit your nearest barber.

12)   Don’t take things at face value. Learn to question. Don’t believe in crappy sayings! Like the one that says that if you love something, let it go and if it comes back then it was meant to be yours. Seriously genius?

13)   Have a relationship with God.

14)   Lastly, have a sense of humor. You’ve got to have a sense of humor. It’s never that serious. I am sure even Samuel L. Jackson laughs in real life, no?

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. no.1 fan
    July 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

    simply delightful!!!

  2. July 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    A lot of wisdom in this post, a lot of wise words. Samuel L Jackson laughs in real life and he sure got a good smile ;)!

    • July 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm

      Really? He looks like he’d smack you on the head if you cracked a joke while talking to him.

      • July 13, 2012 at 6:32 am

        Hehehehe, Samuel L yuko juu tu sana!

  3. Sarah.
    July 10, 2012 at 12:01 am

    The relationship & life guru these days eh?
    Now that you mention Samuel L Jackson, I think after watching him host the BET awards a couple weeks ago & giving the humour thing a try, I would prefer he sticks to the gorgeous infrequent smiles & keep the humour for his “real life”.
    As for Tyrese (from previous post), he used to make my heart feel paragasha until of course i discovered that he beats his women. Sadly, his voice still puts my heart if fatal arrhythmia’s even with that knowledge 😦

    • July 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

      Sarah, hmmm I am taking life too seriously nowadays eh? I keep forgetting to watch the repeat episodes of BET awards, I should download it just to see his humorous side.
      I didn’t know that Tyrese beats women. So he charms them with his sappy songs then beats on them once they get to his house? I knew there was something wrong with the dude.

      • Sarah.
        July 15, 2012 at 6:39 pm

        Yes, you are getting all guru-ish on us.
        Watch his humour side & see if you like it. He didn’t do it for me as a host (or comedian) but that’s just my opinion.
        lol ati you knew there was something with Tyrese? Yeah, there was a lawsuit (or two) a few years back about him giving some chic(s) a beating…

  4. July 10, 2012 at 10:06 am


    • July 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

      Smiley face right back atcha Nyambura.

  5. Anonymous
    July 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

    great post joey! but isnt opening up your heart to someone part of taking a risk YOLO right?

    • July 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

      Yes it is. That’s why I said know whom to trust. Thanks.

  6. #214
    July 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Quite a refreshing read…a man should always live within principle.lovely piece!

  7. July 23, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I’m liking the list. YOLO!

  8. July 25, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    quite intresting……………………will share with my pals

  9. mouryne
    August 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm


  10. September 19, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    This is ma best, its so freakin real its lyk u wrote what i wanted to say or needed to hear but didnt have the ryt words.

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