Home > People > What’s your fantasy profession?

What’s your fantasy profession?

While traveling in a bus on Thursday night, I happened to eavesdrop on a steamy conversation between two chicks that were seated behind me. It all started when one chick told the other that she secretly wishes she were a professional stripper. Now that statement wiped the sleep right out of my eyes! I was itching to turn around and see if she was cut out for the job but I didn’t want to blow my cover lest they change the topic to less interesting discussions like shoes and handbags.

Unfortunately for the dudes, this post is not about my take on strippers. The point I’m actually trying to drive home is that we all have that one thing that they wish they could engage in. It doesn’t have to be naughty. I think even the folks that are happy with their jobs wish they could create time for some other activity. I have a pal who believes that if he ever got his hands on a golf club, it would not be long before Tiger Woods changes that intimidating name to Pussy Bush.

Another one sees himself being a hot-shot soccer coach despite the fact that he is currently pursuing a master’s degree in Architecture. Well this chick in the bus with me just wanted to strip-tease the hell out of men. She thought she had untapped stripping potential. You would be surprised to learn that Obama secretly wishes he were a bling-wearing hiphop artiste featuring in one of those dj Khaleed records.

As for me, I wish I were a renowned novelist. I wish I authored bestselling novels like the John Grishams and Robert Ludlums of this world. I wish I wrote books that dazzled readers around the world. The idea of writing came to me while I was jobless after I had just cleared campus. Feeling all inspired, I grabbed my laptop and started working on my best seller. Two hours later, I only had two paragraphs. I gave up and went to bed. Years later, it occurred to me that I could start small and the blog joeytales was born.

To date I have written 30 posts! I think that is a heck of an achievement. Every Sunday since late October (apart from the Christmas and Easter break) I have sat with a laptop and tried to get creative. It has become a ritual. Whenever I have an itching story, regardless of how I’m feeling, I can’t get in bed on a Sunday before writing it.

As I write this post, I’ve only had two hours of sleep in the last 36 hours. The 34 hours have been spent swimming, clubbing and driving/co-driving from a town 500kms away. I’m so tired my head feels like it has been exchanged with Kwach’s (dude has quite a massive head on him). But I still feel obliged to bang a few words. The truth is, I probably wouldn’t have gotten to my 30th post were it not for you guys.

When I decided that I was going to start writing I sought advice from a friend who already had a blog. I was however confused when he told me that he doesn’t write for the masses. The guy told me that he writes for his own personal fulfillment, and the fact that his blog gets few views doesn’t bother him in the least bit.

Well unlike my friend, I write for the masses. I write hoping that people get to identify with what I’m trying to say. That’s the reason at the end of each day I go to my wordpress dashboard to see how many people visited my blog. That’s why joeytales has a facebook fanpage and recently got onto twitter. If you are among those that come here every week, you are much appreciated. You are the reason this blog exists.

By the way, according to the stats on dashboard,  I’ve got quite a number of readers from Iceland who drop by every week. Apparently there’s an ambassador who is putting in a good word for me on that side of the globe. These guys are among my shadow readers. I tried provoking them on this post but I guess Icelanders just don’t like typing. Well it’s great to have you here folks.

There are many other shadow readers that drop by the site, read through the week’s post and leave quietly. There are those who leave anonymous comments. There are the shy ones that prefer contacting me directly through texts and emails. You are all much appreciated. Of course there are the outspoken ones that don’t shy away from airing their views: The likes of Nyambura, Sarah, Linda, thatguy, Mercy and Sikalily. Thank you for being bold and letting me know what you think… even if it’s pointing out writing mistakes.

If you have any observations or if you have something interesting to say, you can drop by my fanpage. You can also interact with me on twitter. Did I mention that joeytales is now on twitter? Twitter is defined as a micro-blogging application so it’s only fair joeytales goes micro when Monday seems too far way. If you are the shy kind and you don’t want people to see what you have to say, feel free to drop me an email on the address joeytales@gmail.com.

I might have digressed. This post was supposed to be about those things that we secretly wish we could do. I would like to hear from you guys. I would like to know what you are currently engaged in, and what you wish you could do. I swear I won’t judge – not even if you are a sadist and you secretly wish you were a hangman. I have a feeling my fan by the name thatguy secretly wishes he were a hairdresser.

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Categories: People
  1. Anonymous
    June 4, 2012 at 10:48 am

    boss? what happened to the 2 ladies conversation(s)????

  2. Anonymous
    June 4, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Dont laugh but Ive secretly been wishing I could be a DJ, they look like people who actually enjoy their jobs nway Congratulations on ur 30th Post!!!! if you keep writing as well as you do, your fantasy proffesion might just turn to reality kudos Joey 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:02 am

      Those guys seem like they’re always having a blast, right? Thank you!

  3. Rita Murugi
    June 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    The likes of Nyambura, Sarah, Linda, thatguy, Mercy and Sikalily………………y is my name not in that list???nway i wish i was a had a job that involved touring around the world!!!4 now my dream job is any that can pay aloooooooot of money!!!

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

      … and of course my number one fan Rita Murugi! But you’ve been MIA for a while and I thought we’d divorced. The hustler in you eh? Just money…

      • Rita Murugi
        June 5, 2012 at 9:47 am

        hahaha,yani u think we can divorce after only missing two articles??????

  4. Kush
    June 4, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Just like Rita, I’d wish for a job that takes me around the world. And anything that would keep me around Air Hostesses..

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

      Touring around the world sounds exciting… as long as you don’t pick up swine flu!

  5. June 4, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    To answer your title question: I’d love to be a screen writer. Not just an ordinary one but a Tv show runner in the same level of awesomeness as David Milch, Kevin Williamson, Kurt Sutter, Vince Gilligan, Joss Whedon & Shonda Rhimes…That, or a YA author…

    I’ll second your friend. I find it more fulfilling if I write and finish something that I would personally enjoy reading as opposed to what I think people will enjoy reading…I’ll even find it easier to survive a bad writing day if what I’m writing about is really close to my heart. Yes, some readers will find my stuff strange, they may even hate it but my scribblings will still resonate with a few and it will feel more special; sort of like someone liking you just the way you are 😉 Below are 03 quotes I post on my comp when writing:

    -A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it -Roald Dahl

    -No one says a novel has to be one thing. It can be anything it wants to be. A vaudeville show, the six o’clock news, the mumblings of wildmen saddled by demons-Ishmael Reed

    -You can fix anything but a blank page-Nora Roberts

    PS: I do enjoy coming here. So I visit…hope you won’t tire of my visits 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:24 am

      Nyambura, you sure know your screenwriters. Joss Whedon must be feeling like a BOSS right now! I’ve thought about screenwriting and directing movies before and it sounds exhilarating!

      When put that way it makes sense. Guess we fulfill our needs first before trying to fulfill other people’s.

      I wouldn’t tire of your visits because I like seeing you here.

      • June 9, 2012 at 10:09 am

        🙂 I’m a seriousTv junkie like that. Keep writing

  6. thatguy
    June 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    you……you know what, i know where you live! lol, Kwach is a-head of his class.

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:27 am

      My watchie is on high alert! Hehe nice one… if comes across your comment your in trouble. A head-butt from him is like being hit by a bus.

  7. Sarah.
    June 4, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    I’d want to be a super hero 😀
    So you are not going to let us know what the other chick wanted to be?
    I’ve read almost all of Grisham’s books except The Rainmaker & A Painted House. I’ll let you know when you get close…you are on the right track since you are already writing & making small victories while some of us are letting stories die inside us…
    @ Wambura, I like your thinking. I’ll check out your page when I get a min.

    • Sarah.
      June 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

      I meant Nyambura.

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

      A superhero that has what special powers? Like Hulk?

      • Sarah.
        June 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

        With super powers to be invisible & to read people’s thoughts.

  8. Mercy
    June 5, 2012 at 9:31 am

    You are most welcome…keep doing what u do…we have ur back :-)! N Nyambura’s words/quotes r quite something. oh fantasy profession………………………………

    • June 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm

      I know you do Mercy! Thanks.

      • June 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

        @ Sarah & Mercy: Thanks ladies. I’m humbled…Grisham’s books are seriously addictive. I read ‘The firm’ twice just so I could soak in the experience again. Stay beautiful 🙂

  9. Anonymous
    June 5, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Kudos bro.zizidi kucme.some serious skills u got here.

  10. Observer
    June 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Av always wanted to b the guy tht makes stuff happen,behind the scenes…a scriptwriter/screenwriter will alwz burn insyd me..n stop hatin’ on Kwach u guys

    • June 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

      Yesterday I saw Christopher Nolan on Mtv movie awards and I had to try so hard not to get jealous. No one is heading on Kwach!

  11. Rossie
    June 5, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    Just read your entire blog postings in one reading. You had a link on Biko’s site.
    Wonderful read, I have now bookmarked you.

    • June 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      And here I was thinking 30 posts were many! Anyway thanks and welcome aboard.

  12. Headman
    June 8, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Dude! Its June and there’s no sight of continuation of Lenny anywhere!! I have even double checked to be sure I wasn’t missing any post!! Good writing man! In case I get a warning letter for using office resources badly you take the blame!!

  13. June 27, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    I think this is pretty awesome.. I have a blog myself,but there’s not a single article in it.. I experience writer’s block so often I just quit halfway through.. It’s great to have committed bloggers like you.. What better way to get inspired than to read some person else’s thoughts? Thanx to you too!

  14. June 27, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    This is pretty awesome.. I have a blog myself,but there’s not a single article in it.. I experience writer’s block so often that I just quit halfway through! It’s great to have committed bloggers like you.. What better way to get inspiration than to read some person else’s thoughts? Thanks to you too!

  15. July 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    ehm…for people like me, we need nine lives!! …let’s see, i wanna be a model, an actress, a fashion designer, a newsanchor, a ventriloquist and yes a scooba diver- am halfway there, i know how to swim excellently…. in the meantime, i remain the accountant who’s always smiling and laughing at the simplest of jokes. either way, i love my love… and my calculator!!

  16. Linda
    August 15, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Hilarious Joel, very hilarious!! My support will always be there for you, I am very impressed that you have kept it going and I can’t wait for the 1st Anniversary celebrations 😉

    I wish I was many things 🙂 but since we are talking fantasy professions…I always always wanted to be a pilot, childhood dream, which became an obsession I even kept obituary pics of pilots who had died(looking all handsome in their uniforms goddamnit! 🙂 ) I am still toying with the idea of maybe getting a private license, but never working for the govt. I also wanted to be a doctor, but after one too many visits to the hospital when I’ve had a migraine attack and am out of control,I have realised a patient like me is nothing to fantasise abt.

    Stripping…hmmmmmmmm….

  17. Liberty
    August 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I’m almost becoming a Joeytale junkie:):) Keep up the excellent work-you’ve got a bright future ahead!!!

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