Home > Behavior > Something for the ladies

Something for the ladies

Last week on Thursday as soon I sat my desk ready for the day’s work, I received an sms from my good friend Joram wishing me a happy Women’s Day. I am used to such low blows from him so the first thing I did was to confirm if Alfred Mutua had shown some solidarity with our women and declared the day a national holiday. I suppose he was not aware of any occasion. Anyway I was curious to find out what Women’s Day was really about and I got onto the web to find some answers.

Wikipedia says: International Women’s Day is marked on March 8 every year. In different regions the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women’s economic, political and social achievements.

What would we do without Wikipedia? I had no idea there was a specific date set aside to mark Women’s Day. I however like the idea of acknowledging our women on a regular basis. It is irrefutable that they are the building blocks of our society. I am not sure Kenyan men did a lot of celebrating though. Every other day, on the news we see a man lamenting like a little girl after having the dickens beaten out of him by his wife. I have a feeling the last thing some Kenyan men wanted to see was girl-power being promoted. You would be surprised to learn that some men would rather see the 2nd of January all over again than see Women’s Day.

On a more serious note, no one can dispute the fact that women play a crucial role in our lives. They raise us, they nurture us, and when we’re all grown up they become our companions. They deserve to be respected. No doubt about that. What I do not get is the advocacy of equality and the way it is being propagated. We have activists advocating for equality yet the same people contradict themselves when they demand for unmerited statuses and positions for their fellow women. I see a huge paradox here.

It is Gandhi who said that, “Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity”. I have no doubt that what women can accomplish is boundless. Instead of demanding for favors women should fold their sleeves and earn it. Joan of Arc, the Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher, Mother Theresa, not to mention our very own Wangari Maathai did it.

I have my own perception of the ideal woman in my mind: She is delightful, not just in her looks, but more so in her mannerisms. She is the kind of woman that commands respect. She is a compound of a number of attributes that I have compiled. Here we go:

The ideal woman is realistic. She knows she’s more likely to come across a laughing donkey than to find ‘the perfect man’. She does not compare her relationship with what she sees on soaps. She does not pick fights unnecessarily. She does not sulk the whole day because her man failed to notice that her toe nails looked different. She is not petty. The ideal woman is understanding and forgiving.

The ideal woman is strong – not physically but mentally. She is assertive and can stand up for herself. She walks with her head held up. She looks people in the eye and speaks with purpose. She does not giggle frivolously when any man makes a pass at her. She does not beat around the bush when she wants to say something. She is not easily intimidated. The ideal woman is self-assured.

The ideal woman is a lady. She is not desperate. She is not an attention seeker. She does not walk around looking like she tripped and fell face-first on make-up.  She does not laugh out too loudly with her mouth wide open looking like a starving alligator (and most certainly does not roll on the floor laughing). She does not fish for compliments. She is not a drama queen. She does not smash a bottle on another girl’s face because she winked at her man. The ideal woman is dignified: Calm and collected.

The ideal woman makes efforts to look beautiful. She tries to keep her weight in check. She however does not walk with downcast eyes because she is overly self-conscious of her naturally big body. She is comfortable with the way the Lord made her. She loves herself, but is not conceited. The ideal woman gets her hair done once in a while. She ensures she smells nice. She takes care of her skin. She always carries a lip balm – any woman walking around with cracked lips should be arrested and detained.

The ideal woman knows how to manage her finances. She is not always in debt. She does not shoplift. She pays her dues in time. She lives within her means. She does not buy something just because she saw Eva Longoria flaunting it on Desperate housewives. She does not sit around and wait for a man to take care of her. She does not smile at men in  bars so as to get free drinks. The ideal woman is responsible.

The ideal woman walks with a smile on her face even when her life is in shambles. She leaves her personal issues at home. She does not stress her colleagues because her husband came home with a lip print on his shirt. Even when times are tough, she does not walk around looking like the world is against her very existence.  She finds the will to dust herself off and carry on when things do not work out. The ideal woman keeps her cool even in the face of adversity.

The ideal woman is organized. She is orderly, neat and clean. She keeps her house tidy. She does not let dirty dishes accumulate in her sink for a week. She knows hygiene. She does not walk around with sweat dripping down her face – unless she is in a walking competition. She does not hang onto her weave until it smells like old sneakers. The ideal woman is immaculate.

The ideal woman adores her man. She respects him as the man of the house. She cooks for him and serves him. She is gentle when dealing with him. She knows when to talk and when to remain silent. She is not obscene – the ideal woman does not curse or hurl insults like Lil Kim is her role model. She acts like a lady, and dresses like one. The ideal woman is graceful.

The ideal woman stays faithful to her man.

On a lighter note, an ideal woman should be able to dance – well, at least sway her hips. You can’t just sit on your bum the whole night spectating like you just landed from another planet. You should have gone to watch a play or something.

That’s just my two cents worth. I will leave you with the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

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Categories: Behavior
  1. Rita Murugi
    March 12, 2012 at 8:38 am

    today Joel i felt like you were describing me…lolest!…..!!!!!!lovely peace just like always……

  2. Anonymous
    March 12, 2012 at 8:57 am

    One word WOW!!!!!! you never dissapoint he he” well, at least sway her hips. You can’t just sit on your bum the whole night spectating like you just landed from another planet. You should have gone to watch a play or something.” this is just too funny

  3. Anonymous
    March 12, 2012 at 11:42 am

    If laughing was illegal, I’d have been arrested, charged in court, found guilty and given a 25yrs to life sentence 🙂

    Now after I laughed(loud enough and with mouth wide open enough to shame an alligator!) I googled the word ‘ideal’…and this is what I found:

    i·de·al (-dl, -dl)
    noun
    1. A conception of something in its absolute perfection.
    2. One that is regarded as a standard or model of perfection or excellence.
    3. An ultimate object of endeavor; a goal.
    4. An honorable or worthy principle or aim.

    adjective
    1.a. Of, relating to, or embodying an ideal.
    b. Conforming to an ultimate form or standard of perfection or excellence.
    2. Considered the best of its kind.
    3. Completely or highly satisfactory: The location of the new house is ideal.
    4.a. Existing only in the mind; imaginary.
    b. Lacking practicality or the possibility of realization.
    5. Of, relating to, or consisting of ideas or mental images.
    6. Philosophy
    a. Existing as an archetype or pattern, especially as a Platonic idea or perception.
    b. Of or relating to idealism.

    Usitupatie pressure Joel 🙂 I can aim for some of these things, but dude if I can’t sway my hips but can sway them enough in between the sheets, be grateful.

    To all the ladies in the house, Happy Belated International Women’s Day. These men had better love us the way we are, but they will only do that if we love ourselves first…flaws, farts and all(did I say farts…my bad…I meant WARTS! 🙂 )

  4. Anonymous
    March 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    i shall print this out to remind me of how to be a lady (with day to day life sometimes we forget to do our hairs as often or dash out of the office bila my lipbalm) lakini as always GOODSTUFF Joey 🙂

  5. Anonymous
    March 12, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    hehehehehe thank God for makong e an ideal woman…..tihihihi:)

  6. Mercy
    March 12, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    I am proud to be associated with you!!!! And thanks for defining me here..dint know u know so much about me, hehe 🙂

  7. thatguy
    March 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Boss, you have done as proud. This is an awesome post. So much said in not so many words. GOOD…..GREAT READ!

  8. thatguy
    March 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    i mean US not as!

  9. Anonymous
    March 12, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    If we cant find a perfect man, then surely a perfect woman does not exist either…Thats too much to ask from one person. Its good piece though 🙂

    • March 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

      Believe me when I say ideal women do exist. It’s just a matter of principle.

  10. No 1 fan
    March 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    lovely…..just lovely>>>> 🙂

  11. Linda
    March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I enjoyed this article Joel 🙂
    I came across another interesting article in the same lines as your piece and though to share like Jesus taught us
    http://www.vibeweekly.com/home/features/2219-why-a-rural-wife-is-better-than-an-urban-wife.html I read this article and I was close to ‘tears’. It is not not for the faint hearted woman. If you cut through the sarcasm, its a very good read 🙂

  12. March 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I’m glad y’all loved the post. I hope positive action will be taken…

  13. March 20, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Such a woman does not exist, not even in a parallel world,

    but this cracked me up, everyone is guilty of that at one time or the other….ukweli. enyewe! She always carries a lip balm – any woman walking around with cracked lips should be arrested and detained. Joel ur good!, why lie!

  14. March 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Ideal=Perfection yes? 🙂 Anyway, strong, wise,calm,collected, loving and never forget, beautifully flawed…

  15. Liberty
    August 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Sounds too good to be true……no??? Lovely post Joey:)

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