Home > True_story > It’s a Holiday

It’s a Holiday

You know it is holiday season when you enter the estate at 6pm after work and you run into a bunch of noisy, frenzied kids running and screaming all over the place. Nothing like December holiday. These kids bring back nostalgic memories. During my days I would get out of the house as soon as my parents left for work and return at sunset looking like I’d just escaped from a refugee camp. I would go back home covered in dust, with torn pants and grazes on my knees, and in extreme cases, with only one shoe, or some other kid’s shoes.

However as delightful as these kids may seem, you better be wary around them. A kid could take you down. There’s this time I bought mandazis in the estate and as I was returning my wallet into the pocket a kid thought it was the mandazis that I was stuffing in the pocket! I heard childish voice exclaiming, “Gai mandazi kwa mfuko!” (omg stuffing donuts in the pocket). My wallet is brown and it was at dusk and it hit me when I was already several steps away what the kid had assumed. I turned and saw her staring at me with her hands clapped over her mouth in amazement. Right then I knew I was doomed.

Of course that story made headlines and she shared with all and sundry. Now all the kids in my hood know I am the creepy weirdo who stuffs mandazis in his pocket. I’m sure even her parents, grandmother and all her dolls know they have a spooky mandazi-pocketing neighbor. My street cred has since dropped to a negative.

More than once I’ve tried saving face by telling her it was my wallet and not mandazis, but she would hear none of it. I’ve even tried wooing her by buying her some. Unfortunately all my efforts have been futile. Everytime we meet she looks at me with widened, doll eyes and a half-smile. She terrorizes me. I didn’t know 5 year olds could make your life so difficult.

I think I should get back at her. I suppose the best revenge would be to tell her that Santa is a sham. Now that should settle the score. I should just tell her that Santa is a fraudulent cock-and-bull. That even tooth-ferries know that Santa is a load of BS. Then watch her burst into tears and run to her mama.

But I’m not that mean. It’s holiday season for crying out loud. You don’t burst a kid’s bubble when Christmas is around the corner. I’ll wait till January when schools are opening, and she’s outside the gate wearing a long face as she waits for that Riara school bus, then I’ll break the news. I’ll tell her she’s more likely to find a baby mermaid chilling inside her desk than to ever see Santa crawling down her chimney. I’m gonna get you kid.

Anyway folks it’s that vibrant time of the year!

The weather is bright and the mood is right. The streets are colorful and the atmosphere, simply wonderful. A pal of mine says in December everyday is Friday. According to him it’s inexcusable to pass on a chance of making merry during the festive season, even if chance pops up on a lose Tuesday.

I agree with him. If you’ve been working hard all year, you would be excused for spoiling yourself a little. Don’t be too judgmental if on your way to work, at 7am, you have to side-step a sloshed staggering lad.  Cut a bratha some slack and substitute that stabbing glare and the impulsive mscheew with a “happy holidays,” said with a broad smile.

I’m even willing to excuse those people who laugh out too loud. I don’t know about you but when a person roars shamelessly in a restaurant or a matatu I get tempted to smack off their voice box. I understand there are some really funny pips out there but good gracious does one have to laugh like they just went schizophrenic? I’m sure even the Almighty didn’t laugh as loud when folks came tumbling down the Tower of Babel. Anyway since its December, if someone laughs like that, I will not give him that disgusted look. Who knows maybe that’s their way of celebrating the birth of Christ. Before I sneer at them I will ask myself one question: What would Jesus do?

So be happy folks. Smile even when you don’t have to and don’t let anyone put you down. Refrain from sticking out your middle finger and cursing when a matatu driver cuts you off. Refrain from yelling at a guard when you’re late for an appointment and he’s busy frisking you like you got ‘al-shabaab strong’ tattooed on your forehead. Refrain from kicking a kid when he runs into you with his bicycle (happened to me in the estate and I forgot to smile). Don’t let anyone spoil your mood.

Try to be nice. I know being nice does not come naturally in this part of town but just give it a try. If you have a chance of putting a smile on someone else’s face, do it. I was jazzed on Saturday night when a friend stopped to say hi to a street child, and then she put her hand around the little boy and led us to a restaurant where she bought him a packet of fries. I don’t know if it was the December vibe that had checked in but she was feeling sufficiently philanthropic. Her compassion put a smile on a little boy’s face. She was so concerned I think if the clubs were not so strict miss humanitarian would have taken the kid straight to the dance floor. I have to say that seeing the expression on the face of that little boy as she handed him the fries was profoundly touching. God bless your kind heart ‘Mother Teresa’.

So just try to be nice. It might not seem like much to you but a random act of kindness might mean the world to somebody else.

I am excited this festive season and I hope you are too. Things might be tough but I’m sure each one us has a reason to celebrate, no matter the circumstances. On Friday night, at around 11pm, I met a bunch of destitute kids excitedly running around town singing ‘we wish you a merry Christmas.’ Clearly, it’s never that serious.

You might think you’ve hit rock bottom but wallowing in your troubles and curling yourself in that fetal position as you cry yourself to sleep won’t help. Dress up, get out and meet your friends and laugh your troubles away.

In that regard, I am officially not turning down any opportunity to make merry. If you have a plan and you need some folks over, contact me. I promise not to disappoint. P.K I am not letting you down again. No more disappearing acts. Just don’t make guys drink like you heard our kidneys needed a swim.

So folks, have yourselves a good one. Here’s to wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you on the 2nd of January 2012.

Categories: True_story
  1. Anonymous
    December 19, 2011 at 8:45 am

    ha ha ha mandazi kwa mfuko 🙂 dat kid still terrorizes u?? woiye dont ruin the poor girls christmas.

    • December 19, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      I’m owned by a 5 year old!

  2. emilita
    December 19, 2011 at 9:26 am

    merry Christmas and a happy new year to you too! Looking forward to 2nd..

  3. thatguy
    December 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    lolest, you are the “mandazi kwa mfuko guy” i hear about….lolest. December everyday is a Friday. Party, make merry, drink, eat a lot of unhealthy tasty roasted/fried meat preferably goat at our hood pub. happy holidays.

    • December 19, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      It’s disturbing man. You got that 2nd part right. Lets do this…

  4. No 1 fan
    December 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    just like bIko..u clowns have decided to take happy holidays as an excuse not to write..Jesus would not be too happy about that..but its christmass. i will forgive 🙂

    • December 19, 2011 at 7:18 pm

      I don’t know about Biko but I know I won’t be in a position to write anything coherent next week.

  5. Anonymous
    December 20, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Ha ha ha lol, my first read and must say am more than impressed

    • December 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm

      Glad to have you onboard.

  6. madrine
    December 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Hahahah lastborn i should have seen ua face when the kiddo told u mandazi kwa mfuko hihih nice one u have made my afte

    • December 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

      Madrizzie! Nice to see you here. Hehe it was after jobo and i was so tired i didn’t even bother. How was i to know she would make me so famous…

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